What's In a Name?

Let me tell you one thing. Naming a baby should have been a piece of cake for Daniel and Hannah Meigs. We love naming us some babies. We even made a hobby of it. Throughout our relationship, we've been texting or emailing each other at random during the day when we hear a name with a nice ring to it. We've kept a running Word document since 2006 consisting of 20-30 of our favorites. We're like those crazy people who collect scary porcelain dolls or cuckoo clocks, but with baby names. So if there's one thing in this world I was confident Daniel and I could do, it was name a baby.

Then I got pregnant.

Our first conversation on this topic was brimming with enthusiasm and confidence. We pulled up our faithful Word document and began narrowing it down to a short list. By the end of that discussion, we had tentatively agreed on one boy name and one girl name, and agreed to test drive them for a while and see if they stuck.

What a great start! This is going to be so easy, right?

Wrong.

Less than a week after our initial conversation, I got cold feet about both names. We'd run them by a few people, and I didn't feel like they'd gotten adequately positive responses. I suddenly found myself deeply insecure and paranoid that bestowing either of the names on our baby would be to subject him or her to a life of social ostracization, as well as a plethora of personality disorders.

From that point on, I was no fun. I became increasingly rigid and tense about what other people would think of our names. Daniel really liked the name Lucas, but, umm, sorry, that rhymes with mucus. The name Edwin came up, and we both loved it initially... for a minute, we thought we might have a winner. But one morning I woke up totally convinced that someone was going to call him a fairy prince and it was going to stick and then everyone would call him Edwin the Fairy Prince and he would get beat up on the playground. I honestly don't know where I got that idea, but I couldn't shake it. Eventually, I got over it and realized that Edwin is a perfectly decent name, but by that time I think I had ruined it for Daniel.

On the rare occasion that we both liked a name and it made it past my hypersensitive Target of Ridicule Radar, we'd immediately test it out by telling people about it. This, we now know, was a huge mistake.

When it comes to baby names, everyone has unique preferences and sets of experiences that shape their opinion, so ten different people can have ten completely different reactions to the same name. (Really, this is a great thing. Otherwise, we would no longer have thousands of options to choose from when naming our snowflakes. There would just be The Boy Name and The Girl Name. Boring, right?) So when you and your partner find a baby name you both love, that in itself makes it a very special name. You shouldn't expect everyone else in the world to be as enamored with it as you both are. If other important people in your life don't love the name you choose, it will grow on them in time because that name will come to represent a child they love. You shouldn't fret over whether they take to it right away.

Here's the thing, though.. even though I know all of this intellectually, my expectations are still entirely too high. Fifteen people can smile brightly and assure me that we've selected the most astoundingly beautiful name in the universe, but as soon as I hear a negative comment about it, even if it's from a stranger in an online baby name forum, that one comment will lodge itself in my brain and taunt me until it has totally and irreparably ruined the name for me. I'm confident that people wouldn't share their opinions with me so freely if they knew this. I simply can't be expected to listen to their thoughts responsibly or in moderation.

In many cases, no one has actually said anything negative, I've just perhaps been sensitive about body language and the absence of positive feedback. But on occasion, people are more assertive, and sometimes outright rude. Here are some examples of things people have said about names we were seriously considering.

-Makes me think of an evil vampire. (Well, it wouldn't if you didn't read trashy vampire novels. That's on you, buddy. Don't hold me responsible for your poor life choices.)

-He's going to hate his name.

-Reminds me of a hillbilly.

-You know he's going to change his name.

-He's not a prophet. (In response to Elijah.)

You get the idea. You guys, I'm telling you, our baby is going to be nameless until he's old enough to name himself if I don't stop cluttering my brain with other people's opinions. So, without further ado, I hereby formally grant you all permission to lie to us about what you think of our names. Really! Please! I beg you to lie to me! I am so happy to be lied to! If you think the name we choose sounds like a dog fighter, or a male stripper, or someone who deals drugs out of an ice cream truck, please, for the love of all that is holy, keep it to yourself. If I tell you we're naming our son King Acidophilus Rainbow Y2K Meigs, please just smile and say something nice like, "what a strong name!" Got it? Are we all clear on how we're responding? Will everyone please take a moment to practice smiling and nodding? And lying to my face?

Great. Now if everyone's ready, I have an announcement to make. Daniel and I have, at long last, picked a name that we both love and feel really good about. It's such a relief to finally have a name after fretting over it for so long.

We're naming our son Leland Elijah Meigs.

Do you like it? Be honest! ;)