I Feel Like I'm Cramming for Finals

As of yesterday, I now am 26 weeks. This means there are exactly one hundred days left before Leland is due to arrive. HOLY SMOKES people!! Time sure does fly when you're having fun! And by "having fun," I mean perpetually vomiting and crying and waddling around out of breath and feeling like a heifer. Fun! So I guess it's time to start thinking about getting this baby out. And also, what the heck I'm going to do with him after he gets here.

In the spirit of preparing to get Leland out, Daniel and I just enrolled in a 10 week childbirth class that starts meeting next week. I realize this is an extraordinarily long birth class, but I'm glad of that. My goal is to have an unmedicated birth, and I know that unless I do everything I can to prepare myself mentally and physically, that is one goal that doesn't have a snowball's chance. To say that I have a "low pain tolerance" would be an understatement so comically enormous that it might actually break the Internet, which is most certainly unequipped to support such an outrageous fib and would be crushed instantly by its magnitude. The truth is, I'm a major baby. I'm one of those charming people who copes with pain via loud complaints and dramatic moans. It's very endearing, I'm sure. And Daniel really, really hates to see me in pain. Let me rephrase that: Daniel really hates to hear me in pain. It really has nothing to do with human empathy or compassion. He's not particularly disturbed by the suffering of others, (which is something we'll address in another post, perhaps...) so long as they keep to themselves and don't go on about it. But he sure does hate it when I'm sick or injured, because he knows I'm going to be a real pain in his butt about it. I force him to commiserate with me. So anyway, I'm fully aware that if I went into labor tonight, before going through a rigorous training program, I would bust through the doors of labor and delivery demanding the immediate attention of an anesthesiologist, and maybe also a little bit of crack cocaine. Haha, just kidding about the cocaine part. Maybe. There's actually no telling what I might do when I'm in pain. Remember that time I hurt my eye and cried in front of strangers all week? Good times.

Another way I'll be preparing for birth and beyond is by reading alllll the books. Here are a few I'm bound and determined to read in the next 14 weeks.

One of my friends who delivered both her girls naturally recommended this book on childbirth:

And I've heard good things all around the Internet about this book on newborn care:

I'm also going to read these parenting books, both of which have been recommended to me multiple times by trusted sources:

Regarding the last two, I'm aware that during Leland's first year much of this information won't really be applicable, but I'm eager to start preparing anyway. I have a hunch that when he does start needing guidance, instruction and correction, I might not have time to sit down and read a book right away. I think I'll be a little preoccupied trying to keep him from hiding Daniel's wallet in the toilet or painting the nursery with his own poo. I'm sure I'll reread both of these in the future, but it won't hurt to go ahead and start mulling them over now.

While I'm on the subject, do any of you have books on childbirth, newborn care or parenting that are must-reads for new parents? Did anyone do well with Baby Wise? Want to try to convert me? Now's the time! In 14 weeks, I probably won't be reading much, and even if I were to try, I have it on good authority that my brain will have turned to pudding from sleep deprivation, and I will probably be completely illiterate. So this is a limited time offer, people! I may never read another book again! What are your favorites books? 1-2-3- GO!